Just when you think that it's safe to go back in the water.........

It has been a few weeks since I last posted something up, which means there was all kinds of time for everything to go completely, and overwhelmingly wrong....

And so it did.

But the thing that topped it all, and made everything else that went wrong completely meaningless, was the death of my Grandson, Grayson Lee McKinney, after only nine days alive.

Nothing else matters.

My letter to him:

Hello Grayson Lee McKinney, this is your Grandpa. I have the distinct pleasure to be the daddy of your wonderful mother. I saw the pictures of you right after you were born and I must say, you were one handsome boy. I couldn't make the trip to see you right away, but you and I were supposed to meet tomorrow for the first time. You were born into quite the family grandson. We are quite the diverse and crazy lot. From the pictures I saw of you, with the expressions you were already showing on that little face of yours, you would have fit right in.

I am sure sorry now that things kept me from coming up sooner, but I figured we had a long time to get to know each other. But it looks like God needed you elsewhere and you can't argue with God, so here we are. It sounds like you were a trooper and hung in there as long as you could, but being so tiny and young, you could only fight for so long.

I would have loved to have met you my little one, it would have thrilled me no end to have held you and celebrate your birth. There is no greater joy in a grandfathers life than to make a grandchild smile and laugh. Oh yeah, and to buy you really noisy toys to aggravate your parents with. I was sure looking forward to that.

Well little Grayson, I'm sure God already has you on assignment as an Angel to help someone who really needs it somewhere. We will think of you often and pray for all those who suffer such a loss as we have had. Our loss is heavens gain.

Take care little angel, we will never forget you.

All our love forever,

Grandpa

 

My poem for him:

 

Baby Lee and Me.
I feel drunk,
Tho no wine has passed my lip.
I feel pummeled,
Tho no fist has struck me yet.
I feel lost,
Tho there is nowhere I'm bound.
I feel helpless,
Tho there is caring all around....

I know that I will meet you in that good old "by-n-by",
That old time country singers say in songs that make us cry.
I know that I will shake your hand and pat you on the head,
And tell you of the many things I wish I could have said.

Being Grandpa now is really all that's left for me to do,
I really truly wish I could have been there just for you.
My life is winding down now as it's very plain to see,
But yours was just beginning and there was so, so much to be.

All the little things that go on through a grandsons head,
Will you be a policeman, or maybe a fireman dressed in red?
Maybe you'd be a doctor or a television star,
Or be a famous driver in a real fast motor car.

Ah, I guess we'll never know now what you might have gone and done,
For God had plans for you elsewhere my tiny cute grandson.
You have a task with angel wings that now needs to go on.
And someone waits for angels breath to bring them a new dawn.

Keep an eye on your mother baby, she wants to make you proud.
Your brother and your sister, too, in prayer their heads are bowed.
We all know you'll be watching us from an angels fluffy cloud,
And with a family oh so large you'll be watching quite a crowd.

I think that I will always think of you as baby Lee,
Grayson sounds too serious for all the fun there'd be,
If you and I had had the chance to just get out and see,
Just how much laughter that exists for baby Lee and me.

(Written for my Grandson, Grayson Lee McKinney. Born December 19, 2013, Died December 27, 2013.)