Turned in all my stuff today. All my uniforms, all my equipment, my badge, and my ID. I picked up my retirement badge and ID, and departed the Harris County Sheriff's Office at about 1330 hours. I am no longer a police officer. I am just a regular Joe now, with no authority to arrest and detain, nor any responsibility beyond that of a normal citizen. What I contribute now, and what I accomplish, I do for myself, not for others.

It was too easy. Almost nonchalant. Here is the symbol of my profession, my badge, from my hand to yours Sheriff (actually to a clerk who works for the Sheriff). I end my service as if I'm handing someone an apple. No pomp, no flourishes, just a quiet placing of the new retirement badge into my wallet in place of the former. Hand shakes with friends I happen upon as I leave the building. And then I'm outside. Really outside.

When I retired from the military it was very much the same. But with that retirement I maintain many privileges, such as being able to go to a military base and just hang out if I wish. I can shop at the PX, camp at the campgrounds, celebrate national holidays. I can maintain some kind of connection.

But with the Sheriffs Office, there is little connection once you end your term of service. Sure, I'll stay in touch with friends, call and get together with them from time to time. Check in to see how they are doing, let them know how I'm doing. But this was, after all, just a job.

The problem is, it was never "just a job" to me.

Mac