Sigh.

Alrighty then, just breezing through day by day. Trying to still make some kind of difference as I go out the door. Also trying to stay free of any unnecessary drama, lol.

Researching places to go drive off road once I get to Nevada and the area around there. What do I find? More than I can even process mentally, lol. I am going to be an off roading fool!! Camping, and fishing, and camping, lol. There are so many national parks out that way that offer panoramas of exquisite grandeur that I will have a hard time just trying to put them in some kind of list in some kind of order in which to just start going to them all!! Man, I am going to be happier than a puppy with two peters.

I'm glad I'm planning to go out there for a while, not just for a "visit". If everything works out the say I have planned so far (and we all know how to make God laugh, right? Tell him our "plans") then I'll have a lot of time to just go explore to my hearts content. Talk about a great future to look forward to. Wow.

Still trying to figure what my expenses are going to be, what I'll have coming out of my paycheck, etc. I'm scheduled for a class on the 30th of October that is all about our retirement and the benefits and such. I've got a few questions, that's for sure. It should be very helpful. Or, at least, give me less to worry about since I'll be better informed.

Wow, the anticipation is already starting to build. I've got one of those funny butterfly kinds of feelings in the pit of my stomach. I've never done anything but have a job. Usually more than one! I'm sure it will be okay for a couple three weeks once I've retired, but then I feel like I'll start to feel like I need to get back, since that's about as long as I've ever been able to take off at one time for vacation or comp time. Once I hit that outer limit, I will have to resist the urge to head back, lol. I suspect actually, that I won't have to resist very hard, hehehehehe.

Now, should I sell my stuff, or put it in storage? Ponder that one for a while.....

Mac

So, what to do first? Once I'm all packed up, stuff put into storage, and ready to move out, what to do first?

I need to go up to Tennessee and spend some time with Jim Minniehan and George Beaver, naturally. Old friends from way back, in fact, my oldest friends. I've been too wrapped up in whatever was going on at the moment to break away and spend time with them. I owe them much.

But first, I think I'll head to the little town of Eminence, Missouri. About a two week / 15 day stay in the little town of about 600 folks is pretty much a mandatory decompression period I think. It's a small town in the Ozarks my dad's family is from. They had moved to Tucson, Arizona where my dad was born, but moved back after my dad had joined the Navy and moved away. He used to tell stories of the times they visited there and the things they did as kids. So, of course, we visited there throughout my childhood and teen years, that's where dad's mom and dad still lived.

It was a thoroughly delightful place for a kid back then. Crawdads in the crystal clear creeks, fireflies in the evenings, a real drug store with a real soda fountain that made REAL lemonade the old fashioned way, and a slow, slow pace of life. We lived there one year when dad was shipped off to Greenland by the Army. Best memories of my life, except for one, but that was the exception. We'd always make a point of going to see Alley Spring, and the old mill there. It is an icon of my childhood. It used to be so, so beautiful there, when it was a state park, but when the national park service took it over, they really didn't do it nearly as well. Mind you, it's still a great place to go, and it's still beautiful, but I have memories of it looking much, much better back in the day. Oh well, the national government does things much better, right? Right? Never mind.

So to return there for a little while, with no pressure to leave and go elsewhere until I want to, is too good to pass up. There's a little motel / cabins rental place there called Shady Lane where I usually stay, and they are great folks. Cabin #1 is pretty much known as my cabin. Jim, the owner, is a good friend and takes good care of me when I'm there. Maybe I'll even make a fire outside beside the cabin in the little open area there and just sit and sip some adult beverages and just sit. Just sit.

Mac

I feel like time is going by so slowly now that I've decided to retire, at least it seems so. Three months ago I hadn't even had the thought, but now that it's a decision made, I want it to be now, lol. But, it can't be now, it has to be later, but not too much later at least. About 51 days now till my last day in the profession. My profession of the past 33 years if you don't count the two years of security police work in the Navy at Roosevelt Roads Naval Station in Puerto Rico. I'll just count that as the warm up before getting to the main event.

I graduated from the police academy here in Texas back in 1980. My two oldest boys were just babies back then, and the other three kids were not even thought of yet. To say I've been on a roller coaster ride through life would be an understatement, but suffice it to say, I'm about ready for some time with little to no drama involved, lol. Not to say I didn't bring most of it on myself, I contributed big time to the disasters that cropped up now and again, no doubt. But, I don't want to do that anymore. The old saying the British had during the war, "Keep Calm and Carry On" would seem to fit how I've been doing it all these years, but now I just want the calm part. I just want to move on in peace. I'd really like to have everyone forgive and forget, and move on to a better life where I've not dropped the ball too many times.

Hey, I can wish, can't I?

Mac

Watching the "Battlestar Galactica" series again on Netflix, quite a show. Talk about being so much darker that the original television series, wow! But I find myself watching the entire newer series about once every year or so since it came out. Just like to try and pick up more details each time, see if there's anything I missed the previous times I watched it. In order to cheer up after this I'll probably have to re-watch Stargate SG-1, LOL.

So the Democrats have shut down the government, but are using their pet lackeys in the media to blame it on the Republicans? Wow, haven't I seen this movie already? I am at a complete loss as to how this regime expects to accomplish anything other than by dictate and executive order, because they refuse to negotiate and compromise like they are always claiming the "other side" is supposed to do. The U. S. Constitution is being ignored and stepped on at nearly every turn. We are in serious trouble here.

Mac

55 days to go. Have spoken to so many other individuals who wish they could retire, but just aren't there yet. I wasn't "there yet" just three months ago, but my how things do change. Once the change happened though, it was complete. I now wish to move on and not look back. All things change, that's the one thing that never changes. So we either change with it, or we get left behind. Funny how much less stressed I feel now that a decision has been made!

Don't get me wrong, the remainder of life is still just as it was. Worrying about my kids and grand kids, making sure my bills are paid, responsibilities taken care of, wondering if Tony and Ziva will actually get together, you know, the usual things in life. The only thing that has changed really, is my outlook for the future. Thinking about the fellas that didn't even make it to retirement, one of our sergeants here dropped dead just the other day. He hired on at the S. O. about the same time I did. A good friend died a couple of years ago, at the same age I will be in a few days. Life is too short as it is, so it's time to go and do something else now, something that will perhaps make me happier, and if not, then something else again, till I find the something else that I want to do with the next part of my life.

I'm done with this part, yes indeed.

Mac

56 days to go. Sushi and then watermelon for supper, it just doesn't get any better. Just getting through each day at this point. Wanting to hit the road and travel. Thinking about the places I want to go, things I want to see. The dream of having the time to just go where I want, when I want. it is going to be a funny kind of life after all these years of being pretty buttoned down and straight laced.

I can hardly wait.

Mac

Another long day with not a lot to show for it. Hunting for a part I need to finish an AR-15 I'm building, didn't find it. Not a problem, it will be found eventually, perhaps Monday. Trying to get through each day with no drama and no hassle of any kind. I find myself seeing things in front of me that I used to get out and do something about, or say something, etc. But now, unless it is something truly needing it, I make myself hold back and just kind of say under my breath, "I don't care, I don't care, I don't care."

Of course, I actually do care, but I'm trying to make myself get used to not being in the position of needing to police people. It's just a mental exercise to get me out of the mindset that I need to "do something" about all the ills of the world, because I most certainly don't. In other words, I shall now have to learn to pick my battles much more judiciously and make sure whatever I am going to go ahead and get involved in is damned worth it.

In other words, World, you're on your own. Sounds cynical, eh? It was a long, long time coming, trust me.

Mac